Cars, vans, Trucks, 4X4′s

I know you all may have thought that the Porsche Cayenne was ugly. But we could get over the fact because it was one of the first times that the Porsche motor company had ever done anything to Piss Me Off.

But today they have done it. Just when you thought it could not get uglier and the company would learn from it’s mistake we bring you the Gemballa Tornado GTR700 Porsche Cayenne.

If the Porsche Cayenne was not ugly enough, the geniuses behind the original Porsche Cayenne had a wet dream one night. In the dream they saw a tornado and a Porsche Cayenne. The Porsche Cayenne was sucked up along with a retarded cow, what came out can only be explained as the main reasons why animals and Cars are not allowed to re-produce.

Don’t believe me?

Check out the PICs

5) The Scion

The median age of a Toyota consumer was, as of February 2007, 54 years old. Comparatively, Scion’s average buyer age is the lowest in the industry, at 39 years old.

This is friggin nasty.

4) Honda Element

The Honda element is a compact crossover SUV. By crossover they mean half transvesstite and half car.

If you are driving this car, chances are the only thing in your passenger seat is a crossover between a man and a woman.

3) Baja Subaru

James Healey, writing for USAtoday at the time of the Baja’s introduction called it a “controversial fashion statement with limited utility”. Talk about understatement of the year.

The Baja is named after the Baja peninsula that straddles Mexico and the US, and is home to the Baja 1000 off-road race. Something as ugly as this can only be the result of being named after something that happens in a place that straddles somewhere between the US and Mexico.

For some reason I think of a yellow Crocodile whenever I see this damn thing.

2) Chevy Avalanche

First year Avalanches featured light gray plastic body cladding, intended to provide visual distinction from the Suburban/Yukon XL

PLASTIC. BODY. CLADDING. Nuff said.

1) Pontiac Aztec

If Apocalypto taught us anything it was that Indians are bad asses.  It seems that the people at Pontiac wanted to take that view point, and drop a load all over it.  So that the next time you thought of Indians, this monstrosity would come to mind: